Comments on: The Paradox of an Inability To Change

By: Rosalva Blasing

Rosalva Blasing — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 05:52:46 +0000

My brother and I have been just debating this very topic, he is invariably looking to prove me completely wrong. Your current view on this is fantastic and just how I feel. I just e mailed my brother this page to demonstrate him your current perspective. Immediately after overlooking your blog I saved and will be returning to read your updates! I haven’t found such enlightening information about Asperger’s by anyone else with it online. I really learn a lot from your experience and perspective.

By: Mark B

Mark B — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 23:00:27 +0000

Great information! I’ve been looking for something like this for a while now. Thanks! It’s very helpful to view this from your perspective. I am working to apply this to my own life now.

By: T Yard

T Yard — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 16:49:42 +0000

Terrific blog, many fascinating points. A lot to think about. I used to think I couldn’t change so why bother type of thing. Now I realize, thanks to you, that change is possible even within the context of something not “fixable” like Asperger’s. Thanks so much for all that you share on this subject. You are an amazingly inspiring teacher.

By: JS

JS — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 08:55:43 +0000

Thanks for an honest and truthful post about an issue that many are ashamed to talk about. You amaze me in that you aren’t ashamed and make no apologies for who you are. I have a lot to learn about the way I have been living my own life with Aspeger’s. I think I have been far too negative. I like the way you turn it all around and I like that you accept yourself as you are. That, I am still working on in my own life.

By: CoreyReed

CoreyReed — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 18:25:42 +0000

Thanks for the information. You have done a great job communicating your message. Keep up the good writing. You inspire me. I have Asperger’s and a child with it so your point of view, what you share, all that you accomplish in your life is helpful for us to see adn read about because now we know that we can continue to make more out of our own lives and the life of our chlid.

By: Irv Hansen

Irv Hansen — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 18:20:11 +0000

Excellent article.

The real paradox may be that while we adult Aspies may have an unchangeable neural condition, our ability to adapt to life, while exploring our personal world, may be extraordinary, when compared to the NT Spectrum. Our adaptation may be qualified in a cognitive system that does not necessarily buy into the blind commonality of existing social mores, but it will never become the subject-object change that would transmute us into a state of Blessed Normalcy.

My personal opinion is that we may be underestimating society’s ability to tolerate the ‘different drummer’ individual. And overestimating the problem, based on necessarily limited information. Aspies who do not seek out therapist, life coaches, psychiatrist, etc., may never find their way into a case history or a research paper, and that may skew the pop-clinical view of AS.

After 63 years of being different, I don’t really believe that an extensive therapy of homogenizement would have been of any great benefit. But that may be just my extreme male brain or pathological low empathy reacting badly. lol

By: Catinella 12

Catinella 12 — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 04:17:44 +0000

I’ve just subscribed to your RSS feed. I love your content. I love your introspectiona and the hope and inspiration you provide.

By: Dana

Dana — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 17:23:02 +0000

Thank you for this article, which presents a positive outlook, rather than defeatist.

As a partner of someone who has recently learned he has AS, I can attest to the potential for change within the AS individual. After many years of not knowing what made him behave and feel as he does, he finally got a useful answer when we worked together to figure things out. While it helps him manage now, the information relating to how to cope wasn’t there until he was over 40.

Over the years, he developed coping mechanisms, including recognizing the patterns of non-verbal behaviour to better interpret them. As a result, his behavioural presentation includes being able to read non-verbal cues, unlike his AS counterparts. This was a very unusual and constructive use of the AS propensity for patterning. It was also why the answer was so deeply hidden from him for so long.

We are continuously working together to find ways to help him navigate in a mostly NT world, including dealing with our differences. It’s challenging, but hugely rewarding as well.

Can AS be changed? Not likely. Can the coping mechanisms and behaviours be adjusted to improve interpersonal interactions and reduce the negative aspects of AS for some? Absolutely.

Dana (Toronto, Canada)