Asperger Adults is a website that seeks to talk about not only A.J. Mahari’s own experience as an adult with Asperger’s and her insights and continued pushing her limits to help herself and to teach and help others, but also this website seeks to call attention to the differences in most females with Asperger’s from males with AS. This website also invites the feedback or guest posts of anyone with Asperger’s or who has a friend, or relative with Asperger’s. If you are a parent of a child, especially one about to reach adulthood, I’d especially like to welcome your input on this site. What parents with children and teens with Asperger’s need to stay aware of, no matter how busy you are just coping with your child or children (Asperger’s or not) at whatever ages they are, of the fact that once your Asperger’s child reaches adulthood they will fall into the relatively “no service” abyss with the rest or certainly most of adults with Asperger’s. Care to help us to push for services for adults that your children will one day wish they had?
I believe that Asperger’s Syndrome, while on the Autism Spectrum, is mis-labelled as a disability when in fact it is about a different way of being in the world – about having a different ability. Asperger’s Syndrome, in my life and experience with it, has both benefits and burdens. The benefits actually far outweigh the burdens. The benefits are a higher IQ, an ability, for me, to process vast amounts of information quickly, synthesize it, and take it further in articluating various thoughts and awarenesses from many sources added to my own experience, insight, and opinions, that others find helpful. This plays a large role in both of my businesses that I run online and in my community. Asperger’s gives us giftedness. This can be realized in many different fields and ways by many with Asperger’s.
The burdens of Asperger’s, though not all of the descriptors of Asperger’s in the DSM-IV are applicable to every person with AS, are largely, at least, for me, in the social impairment arena. This, however, means in the actual unfolding moments of unstructured socialization. (I know most neurotypicals may pause and wonder what is supposed to be or what is at all structured about most socialization). From an Asperger perspective, socialization generally seems contrived, or dare I say of little value in many ways. Intellectually I think I get it. But socially, in the moment of some interactions, I can still be too literal to truly appreciate, want, or need the socialization. I continue to evolve my understanding of this.
However, when I am in a professional role with others, be it Life Coaching or as a Dog Trainer or in any role in an interaction that has literal purpose and meaning and is not unstructured (like a lot of social stuff) then I clearly know what is expected of me and I am quite successful and competent at what I do and yes I have compassion and empathy for people and I am able to express it in situationally appropriate ways.
The message of this website is simple: Asperger’s Syndrome is not a disability – it is a different ability. One that more people need to learn about and understand. One that more people need to stop judging because they haven’t take the time to understand.
Life is a journey for each of us, whether we have Asperger’s or not. Each one of us will, from time to time, have challenges regardless and make mistakes – the growth opportunitites that we can learn to evolve through and because of if we are open to them.
There is no such thing as the “healthy everyone else over there”. Simply put, there is no “there – there”.
In other words, life offers us no destination in its unfolding – it may in its ending but we all have to wait for that experience to know. In life what matters most is the quality of the journey that you are on and aware of and embracing no matter if it bring to you joy and pleasure or pain and confusion. Life is paradoxical unfolding experience with purpose whether we “get it” or not. Life is a journey whose greatest potential unfolding is about the way that we take the journey presented to us and the choices we make with what we have.
Having a different ability is something to celebrate and to treasure. I believe I am exactly how I was created to be. I fully accept that. It is okay, simply, it is what is. What others do not understand matters not to me. It matters only in that if I can help someone who cares to understand, great, but if someone would rather judge or bully, or what have you, than understand, that is not someone I need to engage or worry about nor is it something to take personally. After all, many a neurotypical, has there own share of issues, problems, and things to address. Being a neurotypical, or simply put, not having Asperger’s does not make you more “normal” than me or othes with Asperger’s it just means we have a difference. A difference that should be accepted and celebrated even when, at times, it can feel for either side as confusing as being in two different worlds. What is wrong with that? I say, absolutely nothing.
© A.J. Mahari – All rights reserved.